Turquoise Tangles

I’m sitting in a dark, quiet room in a comfy chair, with a purring cat on my lap. I wish I could stay here a little longer. But it’s only a temporary stop. I’ve taken too long here already. Was just supposed to get mail, feed and scoop after cats and go, but I’m running on empty. Everyone’s been home on spring break all week. I’m tapped out. Zapped out. Needing a fill up with some quiet time and space. Kitty cuddles help too. I like this lap warming cat a lot more than the yelling, mad, hungry wisp of old gray cat that met me at the door. I think she was running on E too, needing some cuddles right back. Ah, much better. I should be able to face the noise, chaos and commotion that one man, two boys, a six month old puppy and mad about the dog cat fill a house with. My house. I’ll be walking in the door in five minutes…once I get up from this chair that is. ~ Janean

mikefrawley:

 The wheel of life is ever turning
even as laughing children play

Inexorably toward their future as
tomorrow’s seniors faded grey

Spinning though you may resist
why waste a moment day or year

It won’t delay for you or me
nor shed one solitary tear

Live life now, live it well
what’s to gain if you do not

Still waiting for a great event
or some degree you haven’t got

The wheel spins just the same
you couldn’t stop it if you tried

And wouldn’t it be a tragedy to
never have lived before you died

Is it a bad sign when it’s not yet 9:00a.m., there is still coffee in the pot, and more than anything you just want to go back to bed? I figure it is too early in the day to call it a nap. Puppy was up at 2:30a.m., sometime between 4 and 5, and again at 6:30a.m. That’s when I got up, planning to stay up for the whole entire day. The previous times I took him out, then back in, took him out and fed him and back in… In between I kept rekenneling him and going back to bed. I must have slept. Each time I was there long enough to have crazy dreams before being awoken sooner than I wanted to be from the dog sounds coming through the puppy monitor. For the record, there was a thirty minute walk in there too. Alas, no back to bedding, no napping. Not for me anyway. That dog?! He’s sawing logs, happily curled up in the family room, where the TV is blaring a dog themed show, and the rest of the family is done with breakfast. It’s Spring Break here. Day 4 of No School. Woof.

so much for balmy temperatures
the bite is back in the air
March may go out like a lion this year
ROAR!

I saw someone at church today

whom I haven’t seen in years

from opposites ends of the hallway

we met in the middle

as I drew within earshot

he said of me, ”She’s always smiling.”

I shook me head “no”

and said aloud, “not always”

he stated, “It’s not your husband with cancer.”

I countered with, “Yes. It is.”

him: “It’s pretty bad. Isn’t it?!”

me: “Stage 4. Two surgeries. Chemo now.”

him: “Is he bedridden?”

me: “Last summer for awhile,

with chemo and radiation simultaneously.

Workin’ light duty at a desk right now.”

him: “We’ve been praying, but we’ll pray harder”

me: “Thank you.

We know that’s what’s gettin’ us through.”

then we parted ways

he and his wife went one way

I went another

they are headed back to Michigan

to the church he’s senior pastor of

it was good to see him

on this Sunday morn

“Creativity opens us to revelation, and when our high creativity is lowered to 2%, so is our capacity to see angels, to walk on water, to walk with unicorns. In the act of creativity, the artist lets go the self-control which he normally clings to and is open to riding the wind. Something always happens to startle us during the act of creating, but not unless we let go our adult intellectual control and become as open as little children. This means not to set aside or discard the intellect but to understand that it is not to become a dictator, for when it does we are closed off from revelation.” ~ Madeline L’Engle

I am toast
and not the pretty golden brown
evenly buttered kind
I’m stuck in the toaster
charred beyond recognition
crumbling burned black toast
evidently when my day starts at 4:30a.m.
by 6-something in the evening I am done
kaput
not worth much
by almost 7:30p.m. I am toast
actually those crumbs in the bottom if the toaster
I may be in bed before the children tonight
unless I fall asleep on the backyard chaise
where I have the dogs leash under a leg
to hold it in place
and I am stretched out fairly flat
my eye lids at half mast
there are dishes
clean ones to unload
pots and pans to do by hand
laundry to fold
more to move around
from one machine to another
but something’s burning
smoldering
crumbling
beyond done
crumble
crumble
ick
charred to bits
toast

the stars are out tonight
I thought you’d want to know
Orion is still standing sentry
the mighty hunter
in the night sky
he’s fading though
as the earth orbits the sun
the starscape changes
with the seasons
but that’s the constellation I know
the one I’m sure of
without guessing
will keep an eye out
maybe two
as he disappears
with the coming of Spring
until late Fall
when he arrives
to hunt once more
the three stars in his belt
twinkling on diagonal
yes, he’s the one I know