April 2012
23 posts
lost and found
I found my smile tonight
quite by accident
I hadn’t realized
it was missing
until my lips quirked
in a familiar arc
at the halfway mark
walkin’ Blue
somewhere in the park
spilling over with children
and grown up conversation
with a cone headed dog
at the end of a royal blue tether
I found myself grinnin’
and my steps felt a little lighter
oh, how we needed that evening walk
with fragrance from fading lilacs
scenting the gentle breeze
purposeful motion
a return to routine
up and at ‘em
it’s no wonder then
that I found my smile tonight
on the inside too
it's catching
I just found out puppy yawns are contagious to people. It’s either that, or a natural side effect of beginning your day at 4:00a.m. Either way, we’re both tired now. Woof. ~ Janean
2:44p.m. CST
I’m working on dishes
I am
I ate a chocolate peanut butter egg
I did
The whole damn thing
But I haven’t given in to tears
yet
on the edge
on the edge of emotion
tamping back tears all day
no reason for it
I consider giving in
and letting the tears fall
but I already did my makeup
so I shove ‘em down again
they might be happy tears
for my oldest son’s 12th birthday
or relieved tears
for my father’s safe travel
or exhausted tears
from two weeks
of my own health battle
or apprehensive
it’s a chemo week tears
for my husband
most likely it’s just regular
I’m a girl and cry sometimes tears
even though it makes me mad to feel this way
and I don’t want to be a cliche
there you have it
tamping back tears all day
on the edge of emotion
I’m doing my best vampire impression today by hiding from the sun lest it burn my achey eyes. Early morning headache is some better. Thankful.
Notes to Self
1. Candy for breakfast, LEGO gifts and an egg hunt before church result in tears and a melt down when it’s time to get ready. The children’s tears. Not mine. This time.
2. Try on the dress from July that you plan to wear on Easter Sunday BEFORE you’re running late that morning with no time to spare and realize that even with your suction suit on the skirt is too short in back to wear to church or anywhere in public.
3. Congrats on your Plan B ensemble. It’s lovely with dark gray pinstripe slacks, a pale gray tank edged in lace and a blush-colored, short sleeved, finely knit sweater with a strand of hematite beads in shining gunmetal gray.
4. There isn’t really time to blog on Easter morning AND be on time for church. We may be a bit late to church, but we’ll be there. Soon. Glad my husband is driving.
hopping right along
My third grade son said, “Good Morning, Bunny” when he saw me this morning.
On spying the Easter candy corn, jelly beans and m&ms in his Easter basket he said, “Sort of like a dessert mix.”
Both boys are chomping chocolate rabbits for breakfast.
One egg hunt coming right up.
Church too.
Happy Easter to YOU!
personal correspondence
Thank you, God
for sending your only Son
to die on the cross for me,
a sinner,
saved by grace.
Love,
Janean
